Up In The Air

I usually don't write too much of the "negative" stuff I hear at my prenatal appointments because I try to spare the more worry-prone members of my family from having something to worry about... But since we had an eventful day today and I think all the people who would worry already know about our day, I figured I would update everyone else about what is going on this week.

Yesterday, I had my weekly appointment, and my doctor told me that, after looking at my labs and the overall trend of some things in my pregnancy, she felt like I could be showing the early symptoms of pre-eclampsia, especially after knowing the course of events when I had Kara. We talked about a few things for management and what things I should watch out for (which I have already been well-educated on), and then I went home.

Last night, I woke up about midnight with pretty sever pain under my ribs, especially on my right side. It felt exactly the way I felt with Kara, and I knew it wasn't heartburn, but I took some Tums just to cover all my bases. I waited a few hours to see if the pain would go away, and after it didn't, I decided I needed to call the nurse at my doctor's office, who looked at my medical history and then told me to go to the hospital.

While there, the hospital staff ran some tests (blood work, blood pressure, and ultra-sound... The usual). Unfortunately, when I was pregnant with Kara, the only symptoms I had right up until the day I went in and they induced labor were the pains under my ribs and nausea--all of my blood work was normal, blood pressure was normal (though high for me), and all anyone would tell me is that it was "probably the flu." My OBGYN is aware of this history, and has been keeping a careful eye on everything regardless of whether I show text book symptoms or not.

I have been feeling exactly the same last night and today as I did with Kara. Other than one abnormality on my labs, my blood work is relatively normal, my blood pressure is normal (but again, has gone up and is high for me), and the hospital staff asked me/suggested that I could just have a virus. It was very frustrating for us to go through all the tests, and, in essence, be blown off or not taken seriously because my blood pressure isn't really high, or because I only have slight abnormalities in my blood work. I know my body very well, and I know when I am flu-sick and when something is just plain wrong. I really can't explain how painful it is to have the inflamed liver feeling under my ribs--when it was at its worst with Kara, it hurt worse than labor I wasn't there yet today, but it was bad enough that I haven't been able to sleep.

When the Dr on shift at the hospital came to talk to me for the last time before I was discharged, she told me that she couldn't figure out why I would be having this pain, but still have normal BP, etc. I told her about my experience with Kara (having normal everything and then having it all just tank in a matter of days) and that my doctor was concerned about me showing early signs of pre-eclampsia or HELLP. After she (again) asked me the same slew of questions that every nurse and doctor has already asked me a million times, she concluded that I could be showing early symptoms of HELLP, but that she didn't want to induce the baby yet. SO, she set up an appointment with my doctor's office for tomorrow for me to be looked at and tested some more, and sent us home.

Anyway, at this point, things feel very in the air! I feel stressed just knowing that this is playing out almost exactly like it did with Kara, and I REALLY don't want a repeat, and I feel stressed/embarrassed because now my family is on edge thinking I'm going to have a baby or get sick any day--I really don't want to be the cause of that kind of worry. Worst of all was leaving the hospital feeling stupid and little. It was very hard for me to decide that it was worth even calling in for because I was dismissed/ignored so many times when I was pregnant with Kara, and it wasn't until things got severe that I was taken seriously. I hated being looked at like it was all in my head, or that I "maybe just have a bad case of heartburn or indigestion." I know what heartburn feels like. This wasn't heartburn.

So that wraps up our week. This was kind of a long, rambling post, but I think it helps sometimes to vent out your worries and frustrations.

Happy (soon to be) Friday!